Parent-Child Conflict Resolution: Communication Problem


Conflict is considered the basic problematic type of interaction between the parents and their children. Family life is full of misunderstandings and moral struggle between two generations. The parent-child conflict is a global profound problem which is widely developed despite the culture or social group people live in. The reasons causing such conflict are closely connected with our cultural, moral and ethical inner development. Communication problem lies in the human psychological and metal development. The problem of the generation gap is considered to be one of the most complicated and contradictory. (Adele, n.d.).

Communication Problem

The psychological view upon the problem of the parent-child conflict covers many aspects explaining the nature of generations’ contradictions. The affection on the communication climate can be reached by means of messages interpreted as strategic, superior or evaluative. The communication problems between parents and their children are usually caused by different views on the same aspects of life. The overpowering of the actual words in the process of communication is caused by implications. This aspect of the problem contains the following background of the conflict:

  • The implication of criticism is usually perceived as negative factor or intention in the communicative process;
  • Things which are considered to be common for parents and children so they are to share them;
  • Intimacy signal which may be perceived as intrusion.

Despite the grounds of the problem there are some certain solutions which can help parents and children to avoid strong and serious constant conflicts. Psychologists stick to the point that effects of the communication interactions are the background for possible conflict; thus, in the communicative act its participants are to transfer the negative and neutral remarks into the positive ones. So, questions can be easily replaced for statements and used as a way of laying a trap. It is important to understand these facts and try to avoid them. For example, usual predictions can be perceived as threats and be the beginning of the conflict situation. Quarrels are the frequent effects of the misunderstanding between mother and the daughter. The usage of non verbal language strengthens the development of the problem. The understanding of the same issues usually carries a different character for parents and their children that is why it is difficult to find a common language. (Dessislava, 2008).

The reasons of the Communication Problem

The relationships between the parents and their children are considered to be vital. According to Tannen, the remarks heard from other people are not hurting but for they are coming from your close people. The conflict has the ability to open the person; it shows the real nature of people and allows expressing your thoughts. One of the reasons for the conflicts is the balance of power in all families. The children are not treated equally and have certain limitations. People got used to build the atmosphere of friendliness or conflicts by themselves. The negative intentions expressed in the process of communication are considered to be the links in problematic situations. (Nichols, n.d.).

The Way the communication problem affects parent-child relationship

The behavior during the conflict changes rapidly. As Ellison stated, when both participants of the conflict take the defensive position, they can feel their role of victims in the particular situations. The conversations based on aggressiveness and initial negativity will compulsory lead to the conflict development. Global communication problem can lead to the breakage of any relationships especially when the character of the problem is rather serious. Partial or complete loss of relationships and contacts could be the main background for the beginning of the conflict situation.

Communication skills as the way of problem minimization

The usage of the appropriate communication skills is considered to be the key element in the problem minimization. Communication skills can help any person to transfer the atmosphere into the positive one. Thus, Ellison tried to explain that the improvement of the communication climate could be reached by means of non-defensive communication tools. The main task of the statements is to provide information rather than express negative intentions or critic. One of the main points of the problem minimization is regarded to be the ability of the participants to see and understand the opposite problem, though one is not agree and stands his ground. The awareness of the approval necessity by the close person is considered to be an important factor in the problem solution. Thus, children always wish to be approved by their parents and parents want to see the love and respect to themselves in respect. The negative reaction in the process of communication should be avoided and even changed into the positive one. (Winslow, 2006).


Thus, the analysis of the parent-children conflict managed to show that its background is hidden in people themselves. The main issue of the analysis is to teach how to understand and respect each other. The problem of the generation gap is a global problem of the whole humanity and only understanding this fact can help to overcome disputes and aquarelles in the families.


Adele, Faber & Elaine, Mazlish. Liberated Parents, Liberated Children: Your Guide to a Happier Family.

Michael P. Nichols. Stop Arguing with Your Kids: How to Win the Battle of Wills by Making Your Children Feel Heard.

Parent-child Conflict. Web.

Winslow, Emily & Gilliom Miles. Parent-Child Conflict and Neighborhood. Abnormal Psychology. 2006.

Dessislava, Marinova-Anguelova. Dynamics of Parent Child Relationships and Conflict. 2008.